We’ve seen it repeatedly in movies, TV shows, books, and even in real life: Friends dating their friend’s exes. With that in mind, many people have wondered if it is OK to date your friend’s ex. Deciding to date a friend’s ex can always come with risks. Before diving into that pool, you must ask yourself, are you ready to endure those risks? There are many factors to consider, the biggest one being that it could end your friendship if you decide to go down that road.
Some friendships can’t survive something that is considered a huge betrayal. Other questions you must ask yourself are: Is this person the love of your life? Is it worth losing a good friend? Can you see yourself with this person in the long term? If you have to ask yourself any of these questions, then it could be a sign that it’s not worth it.
Our advice? Don’t rock the boat unless you’re not afraid of sinking. Here are five reasons why it is not OK to date your friend’s ex.
Be prepared to risk losing your friend.
The most obvious reason not to get involved with your friend’s ex is that it could ruin your friendship forever. Dating someone your friend dated can be a touchy situation, especially if the relationship was serious. Even the lightest relationships can cause a side-eye from your bestie, and they could start to distance themselves from you temporarily or permanently.
Let’s say the relationship wasn’t even that serious, so you feel safe to make that move. However, your friend could still feel a type of way. They may start to think that you have no respect for boundaries and will go after every guy they’ve dated. Use this reason to ponder whether it is OK to date your best friend’s ex and if you are ready to sacrifice that bond. Usually, nine times out of 10, it’s not worth it.
They may not be worth the drama.
Another reason to ask yourself if it’s OK to date your best friend’s ex is to decide if it’s worth the drama. There is no telling the amount of chaos this could cause you, including blowout fights with you and your friends. Your reputation in the girl world could also be tainted. Be prepared to lose not one but more than a few friends. It would be best to consider whether this person is serious enough about you to endure the hardships.
It’s going to make your friend uncomfortable.
Let’s face it: some relationships can end in a messy fashion. Some things could’ve happened throughout the relationship that you may not have been privy to. If your friend’s relationship was toxic and traumatizing, then it is a lot to ask your friend to be around that person again. Bringing that person back into their life could stir up old wounds for your friend, causing a massive rift between the two of you. That’s not being a fair friend and could be a sign that the relationship may not be worth the risk.
The relationship probably won’t last.
Oddly, you have to consider that if you decide to date your friend’s ex, the relationship may not last. You could potentially have the same problems your friend had with them in the relationship. Another factor is how you got together. Guilt could put a huge strain on the relationship. The significant other could end up not being your person, and all that you’ve lost because of it can fill you with regret.
Your friend may not be over your ex.
Depending on how serious the relationship was or how long ago they broke up, your friend may not be over their ex. The length of a relationship doesn’t necessarily equate to how deeply they both felt for each other. Relationships are different, and some evolve faster than others. Starting a relationship with someone who potentially has unresolved feelings for your friend is a messy situation.
Deciding to swim into unfamiliar territory with your friend could be a recipe for disaster. So, ask yourself, is it OK to date your friend’s ex? Chances are, it’s probably not.
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