As you search for love, finding the person who will treat you correctly is becoming more challenging. While folks joke about being in toxic relationships — we’re looking at you, Future Hendrix — it is no laughing matter. Being involved in a toxic relationship is damaging to a person’s mental health, safety, and overall well-being. Luckily, there are clear signs to help you determine if you are in a toxic relationship.
Some individuals accept the bare minimum (or less) to avoid being single. Accepting behaviors such as constant cheating, manipulation, and disrespect sets you up for a failed relationship and a hit to your self-esteem and your self-worth.
If you believe that your relationship has several red flags, continue reading for five signs that you may be in a toxic relationship.
1. Your partner is controlling.
Boundaries are reasonable in a committed relationship. If agreed upon, actions like cheating are grounds for a conversation or a breakup. However, if you feel that your partner is trying to control your actions based on their disrespect, they are showcasing toxic behavior.
A controlling partner often gets angry about minor things, such as your outfit choice or if you’re having a long conversation with someone. They may also try to limit your freedom and independence, such as not allowing you to hang out with friends or forcing you to cut off contact with your family. In other words, the toxic partner will often try to dominate the relationship and attempt to exercise power over you. Per PsychCentral, this behavior is considered to be a form of coercive control.
2. Your partner manipulates you.
Manipulation can emerge in different forms. One term you may hear often is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a tactic used to make someone question something that they already know to be true. It can appear as denying the truth or making you feel like you misremember something. In addition, manipulation is used to make someone feel guilty about something they didn’t do or to control the relationship further.
3. Your partner makes you feel negatively about yourself.
One sign that you are in a toxic relationship is having low self-esteem. If you entered your relationship with relatively high confidence but it has since plummeted, it may be a result of how your partner treats you. An essential part of a healthy relationship is feeling supported, loved, and cherished. Feelings of degradation and belittlement may indicate that your relationship is toxic.
4. Your partner fails to communicate properly.
Breakdowns in communication often occur in relationships, even healthy ones. However, they only become toxic when arguments lead to insults or stonewalling (the silent treatment). A big part of communication involves listening. Leaving issues unresolved, ignoring emotions, and not changing behavior, even after promising to do so, also exhibits a negative breakdown in communication.
5. Your partner doesn’t consider your emotional health.
Although we recommend that everyone should do their best to meet their own needs, every relationship requires something different from each partner. Whether it’s respecting boundaries or emotional support, your partner should accommodate your needs. If they ignore you or purposely deny your needs regularly, you may be in a toxic relationship.
If one or more of these signs apply to you and you want to save your relationship, try seeking couples counseling. A third perspective often helps a toxic partner to see the error in their ways. If you feel safe, you can also attempt to communicate with your partner about your concerns. Leaving the relationship is also an option, but please be sure to seek a safe way to do so.
Keep in mind, if you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? Let us know in the comments below.
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